Last night, I suggested to gal pal Jenna that we go on a one-month sugar cleanse to prep for our friend Emily’s wedding in early November. Bridesmaid dresses and professional photography and all that.
Jenna: Sugar cleanse? Is that the Whole Foods way of saying you’re giving up sugar?
Me: That is accurate, yes.
J: Can I have sugar in my coffee?
Me: Well, my soy milk will have a little bit. But I think no straight sugar or flavor syrups.
J: NO FLAVOR SYRUPS? Okay, but we have Kevin's wedding this weekend. We can have wedding cake, right?
Me: NO! That’s even worse than flavor syrups, probably. But now that you mention it, Jeff and I were planning to bike to the bakery tomorrow. So I’ll have a pastry tomorrow, and you have wedding cake on Saturday and we’ll call it even.
J: Wait. Wait. Wait. Does this mean we can’t have PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES?!
I have been friends with this girl for nearly two decades and I have rarely seen her this worked up.
Me: Jenna. You must definitely CANNOT have a pumpkin spice latte. That’s the worst possible thing you could have on a sugar cleanse. That drink involves TWO flavor syrups and a pile of whip cream.
J: Listen. I’m not doing this sugar cleanse unless I can have pumpkin spice lattes.
So there’s that. With the exception of PSLs, bakery treats, wedding cake and assorted coffee flavor syrups, we’re totally sugar-free in our abode. No exceptions.